I did not arrive the
recommended 75 minutes early, but I got to the outside baggage check of a
certain airline in plenty of time for what was a slow travel day. One bag to check in - piece of cake. I handed over my license. As the Baggage Check man went to place it on
his computer in order to have two hands to type, it slipped from his fingers
and fell behind the screen into the depths of his kiosk. It was just a slip. He finished the transaction, returned my
credit card, printed the luggage tag and boarding passes, and then it was time
to fetch my license.
He looked. He got a flashlight. He took off his hat to
lean in. He happened to have an extended
reach grabber doohicky-thingymajob. To
no avail. At one point he was
practically standing on his head to reach behind the computer, his feet were in
the air. He pulled out drawers, machines
and cables. He found old eyeglasses, a
single glove a newspaper, pens, and all kinds of stuff under an inch of
dust. I even looked for it myself. The driver's license was nowhere to be
seen. His white shirt - all of him, was
covered in dust except for his befuddled smile and shrug.
I missed the
flight.
I recommended he find someone
who could reschedule my trip. One by one
each of the three additional airline personnel responding to his radio help
plea insisted on looking for themselves.
More peering and more dust. Obviously
one of those things where you have to try looking for yourself. It had to be somewhere. The complete disappearance was an odd story
to have to keep repeating. A new agent
returned with a new flight schedule for me. She was pleased that it would leave in 90
minutes and I would still arrive at my destination that same day. I reminded her that I had no license. She reminded me that I would need an ID. Yes. Exactly! There is a problem.
I suggested that I
could go to a local DMV and that the airline might put me up for the night and
reschedule my flight for the next day.
The agent was certain that they would only provide a corporate rate voucher
for a hotel stay - disbelieving that they would pay for the whole thing. Then it was my turn to disbelieve.
I assure you I was a
very nice and patient person throughout this.
But at that moment a question slipped out of my mouth as to why I should
incur any expense at all for this inconvenience. She informed me that they "are not in
the habit of putting people up who do not have a license?"
She said it as though it were a question (hoping I would buy this answer). "Could I speak with her supervisor"
- I said as though it too were a question.
She made a call and then let me know that the supervisor would be down
from the gates and could speak with me in about 2 hours if I wanted to have a
seat. Hmmm, as it happened I did not
want to have a seat. "I think I should
leave you my name/number for him to call me and instead go to a DMV before it
closes," I said. She began to think
out loud again - "You will probably need your ID at the DMV?" Again with the question mark at the end of
her statement. "What?!" I
responded utilizing both a question mark and an exclamation point at the end of
my interjection.
Ready to leave - I
asked for the hotel voucher the
agent alluded to (just in case the supervisor forgets to call me). She was reluctant to give it to me, now pondering
out loud if I would need to go back to Chaves County to get a new license or
not. Surely not!
As I got on the
PARKnRIDE shuttle to my car and was welcomed to Albuquerque by my driver - I
called the closest DMV to inquire about the replacement process. It would not be a problem. As I entered the DMV office I had remembered
to get reading material for the anticipated wait. I took a number but was only seated about 45
seconds when they called for me. The
nicest person in the world assisted me and I was out of there in no time with
my temporary paper license.
During a short and
voracious visit to Burger King I called the 1-800 number on the hotel
voucher. It was obviously an independent
company that books stranded travelers for several different airlines. She asked me to wait as she looked up
participating hotels. I hear her begin
to laugh and assume she is continuing an ongoing conversation with the person
next to her on the phone bank. But alas,
she had found two hotels. The first was
a Fairfield Inn and the second, she began to laugh again, was the "Possum
by the River," or something to that effect (or something to that infect).
"I'm sorry" I said, "did you say Possum?" "Yes," she responded. We agreed that it did not sound promising and
I received a confirmation number for the Fairfield.
At the Fairfield they
did not have my confirmation. Maybe I
will have to go to the 'Possum' after all.
But, the second nicest person in the world was working behind the
counter and took care of me and I was in.
They even took care of certain things I didn't plan on needing that
night. Nice.
My first thought was to
call/visit friends I love in the area, but decided instead to lay low and not
impose. It was a quiet evening and I got
sleep!
I got up at 4:15 am, happily
found breakfast even though it wasn't supposed to be available for an hour, and
headed back to the Airport. The airline
lady checking me in generously assigned me seats in exit rows without extra
charge. She was making a bona fide run
at nicest person in the world and just got a vote from me.
Then I was put in the
line where you don't have to take off your shoes or take your laptop out. Awesome!
Oops, having a paper license issued the day before was cause for
ejection and a "follow me for a complete bag check and pat down." The TSA agent explained at length how and
where he would pat me down. "Sir, I
will need to do this... do that... and touch here... in this manner... The blah blah blah ended when he said, "and
I will need to run my hand up the inside of your leg to the point of resistance." "The 'point of resistance?!'" I
said with both a question mark and an exclamation point inflection. Was I to resist physically or verbally, because
I was ready to do both. I resist, I
resist!
I assure you I was a
very nice and patient person throughout
this... though I was challenging the Christian notion of whether one had to hold
captive both their thoughts and their tongue.
I did make it to my destination but I have yet to get my call from the airline
supervisor.
What have I learned
through all this silliness and mix of kindness and befuddlement? Well... I'm going to Google Albuquerque hotels
and see which one has the word Possum in its name. But I have also been reminded that it is
best to go through life with a sense of humor.
Paul had to say it
twice, but he did not put any stipulations on it when he told the Philippians
to "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice" (4:4). In the end I am glad I am not the one who
dropped someone else's license into a black-hole. I am glad my job is not to speak to stranded
travelers who only call in distress. I'm
glad I don't have to memorize a speech that ends with, "and I will need to
run my hand up the inside of your leg to the point of resistance." There is always something to rejoice
about.
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